Haven’t posted for so long! So much has happened.

EE was, of course, fabulous. I love the cold and all the leaves and generally everything there!

2012 is scary and CT1 is scary and Mid-Years are scary and Prelims are scary and O Levels are scary. :( I think I’m having a bit of an off season right now so I really hope it ends soon. I also think I’m going insane. :P

Strings is getting crazy, we have so many songs. And so many new pro people! Debate is also quite crazy, JGs is soon! Although I didn’t get onto the team, it’s okay I can still improve.

It’s definitely rainy season here in Singapore. I have to remember to bring my umbrella everyday now. I didn’t bring it two days ago so I had to share an umbrella with my sister and my sleeve was soaked (once again I ask, why do we wear a white shirt that turns translucent when wet? -.-). (that’s the title btw)

Okay so things that are inspiring right now:

Red.

Cupcakes.

Stars.

It’s been 2 months since my last post wow. and i’ve posted 10 times this year, so this is the 11th time. (i should do this on 11/11/11, that would be cool) So much has happened!

EOYs was ugh disgusting. I was so unprepared, more so than for any other exam or test that we’ve done this year (or ever, actually). Not necessarily that I felt unprepared at that time, but now I realised that I could have done so much more. My results were unacceptable. For everything. It’s like I crashed suddenly because I was going too fast. ): well all i can do is take this holiday to bounce back and improve lots and lots. (mr loh said the scholars will definitely be studying! D:) It’s seriously really sad, the only part of my life I could be halfway confident about just blew up in front of me. ): And of course that cant be everything, CCA is killing me too, with all the busy-ness of the schedules.

And then I was thinking about trust. And how people I’ve always trusted, never doubted, and didn’t think twice before calling, could possibly have never really been there. That it had all been this fantasy world, an illusion that I wanted to believe in. I should actually have known. But I really needed someone who actually understood me, who wouldn’t judge me based on what I myself tell them about any of the problems I may have. Look at who that place has made you become. I thought you were still the same after all these years. [it's actually 11:11 now and I wish it was the same as before.] You were different all along.

It’s despicable.

Maybe it’s my fault to some extent. Well, lesson learnt. I won’t make the same mistake again.

Okay maybe it’s because I’m listening to sad reminiscent music now or something but I feel sad. :( So next sad topic, 2011:

Has been amazing. Full of new friends and new experiences and well, newness. This year has really changed my entire life, and me. I think I’ve grown in maturity (in some ways xP) and maybe experiences too. I don’t think I’m the quiet girl who’s too scared to do anything or to really go out into the world, not anymore. I’ve gotten a bit louder (hopefully!), a bit crazier. There’s still stuff I need to work on, but I’m pretty happy with this year. (:

We cleared our classroom last friday, and i was like OMGSH HAS IT BEEN A YEAR SINCE I FIRST STEPPED INTO CLASS? I still remember. I was so scared, because there were so few people I knew. I worried about the random seating arrangement will all the 2G people, worried about being forever alone, and I went down to 3T everyday for at least a month im pretty sure. Then suddenly I didn’t go down to 3T at all, then it was mas, syf!!, rmun, imun, sec 4 farewell, founder’s day, debate, eoys, and whooshhhh it’s the end of the year. Sec 2 had its fun times, Sec 1 had its fun times, but I really don’t think I would exchange this year for any other year. (:

AND EE TRIP COMING SOON YAY!

Sunday was sanjana’s birthday and she had a party but i didnt go. D: But last week was anmol’s party and that was FUNFUNFUNFUN. This girl from the US called Jessica came to our class for two weeks! It was fun. She has a nice accent :D But she’s gone back to SF now. ): And we’ve had 2 picnics this term in the trellis haha that was fun too!

Change.
Everything changes. Everyone changes. And sometimes when you look back at the pictures and all the memories of the past, you really wish they had never passed, and everything had stayed the same. Your situation today never seems to measure up to the past, like your whole life is just one mountain slope heading  for the ground. You miss the people, and you wonder why you aren’t friends/aren’t as good friends with them today. Why you can’t tell them everything like you used to be able to. But what about now? What about today? Someday in the future you’re going to look back at today and you’ll miss today like you now miss yesterday. So make the best of your situation and concentrate on now.

EOYS and I need to study so bad. Like really. I can’t get into a really good school if I don’t get like a 2/3 for O Levels and the best I can get is a 4, because i dont do HMT. So I need to do DSA. And what results are they going to look at? Sec 3 EOYS. Yup. So I HAVE to do well. But I really lack focus. (eg. what am I doing now?) I know people have already started studying, and sometimes it scares me that I don’t study as quickly/start as soon as some other people. I can’t get complacent or whatever, especially not now.
I’ve realised that I really am a perfectionist. And I have ridiculously high expectations that are pretty much impossible but I’ve seen sometimes that the impossible can be possible.

Today I will pack my room and I will start properly tomorrow.
byeeee till after EOYs!

I think I should get tumblr, I love the pictures. :3 This post will be all about what I haven’t blogged about but are significant enough for me to want to record it so that I will never forget. (: Also, apparently blogs aren’t supposed to be like diaries, about what happens every day in life. You’re only supposed to blog when there’s something meaningful to blog about. (found out this year. i feel a bit stupid HAHA). and we had this talk about how everything you post is possibly something that could get you in jail so i will be more careful with my posts now. :X i’m not going to read through all of my old posts to see if i insulted people and i’m not going to delete it. (okay i will, in the future.)

Me and sanjana have decided to focus majorly on studies! EOYs are coming (HAHA, in october) but i already feel scared. Like i’ve gone forwards in time and skipped term 3 (haha). :( okay and things are definitely getting more busy (and i have my piano exam in september omgsh. :O it seemed like not long ago my teacher was telling me i had plenty of time.). Sec 3 is supposed to be the most fun year of my sec sch life (so far, IT HAS!) and i’m going to make the every day for the rest of the year worth a day. (: tumblr will have to wait till after CT3, or maybe after EOYs.

I realised im a lot closer to my history ES group now than i was with any of them last year. :3 all these MUNs have been fun, i will never regret joining history ES. thank goodness i wasnt chosen to join physics ES and andrea convinced me to join this hahaha. things would have turned out a lot differently if i hadn’t.

performing arts night was AWESOME we played shosty at 162 and a lot of people were impressed!! :D then stood around randomly in the meep room with some of the sec 4s (why? i dont know.). it’s se ern’s last concert. D: took a few pictures. it was a bit awkward. i know i shouldnt be but i was. D: okay i will make an effort not to be awkward next time! SHOSTY AT 162. (the judges at SYF thought it was too fast when we played it at like 138 but, here we go we can even play 162. IN SYNC. ;D) before performance we practiced a bit and we were slower and slowing down (definitely a drop from syf standard!) but we got it all together for the concert!!

i want to find a date to watch schindler’s list and all the other history movies. :3 love history. (i should obviously have taken full history).

got ANOTHER new timetable, FOUR recesses with 3T YAYYYY. :3

apparently my style is good and matter-of-fact. :D:D:D i hope i can still go.

okay i absolutely HAVE to complain about seating arrangements. since when did it not become random? since when did most of the class get to sit with their cliques? since when was it alright to have seating arrangements showing clear divides? not cool. ):< i am not happy. but the good parts about my seat, is that im sitting next to a nice person (okay most people in class are nice, but i would say some are more selective about who they are nice to), I GET SOME AIRCON, and im not to close to the front neither am i right at the back, and i can see quite well. 8)

POTC4
it was fun to meet up with ruru and elizabeth and sonico again (okay i see sonico nearly every day.) lunch at some japanese place and i ate udon and it was really good because this was the day after OBS (canned food+no japanese food for FIVE DAYS it’s amazing i lived) POTC4 was LOVE and i got the soundtrack when i went shopping with my mother about a week later (amazing stuff. :D) hahah i love jack sparrow.

RMUN
security council. portugal! AWESOMEEEE. i didnt speak a lot but it was extremely funny to watch people talk. (apparently it wasnt a debate, just a few debaters going up there and talking casually). I can’t describe it in much detail but i made a few friends and :D we were going to have an outing tomorrow but i couldnt go and other people couldnt go and it got cancelled. D: AFTER EOYS. first priority (well, first or second.)

IMUN
I would say, not as fun as RMUN. people mainly talked about the same things over and over and it was quite boring + i didnt know anyone so i couldnt send notes to them. ): no pic.

(okay the MGS thing wasnt a MUN, we basically had a presentation, ate lunch+tried to ally with countries, wrote and introduced 5 diff resos, did not debate, and voted individually. yes, individually. not by country. good part -> wrote a reso for the first time (with help from celine, jennifer, kar yeng)!! :D looking forward to SCMUN.)

One Dream
We got into finals and wonn! (well all 8 finalist groups won.) but apparently the judges were impressed by our sincerity or something. :D it’s averagely exciting. we have the prize ceremony thing on the 30th!